How can we love and pray within our lover’s arms?
If by that which we denounce the love of hearts
To be sexless. Non-binary. Why must it be
That we, part of God’s family, are not allowed
To be proud of our identity; instead we suffer in
Silence and suicide and shame and the Church
Never utters its name.
Told young I would burn alive if I
gave in to the internal thrive
of desire for whomever it was back then I
wanted in my arms. Why can’t they see that
there is no harm, that we are too
Children of God and just want some calm in this world?
What gets me the most is that they see
Him as the Big Guy, so the Big Book must be followed
To a tee. Perfectly. No doubt that some would go ballistic
If they didn’t stick to their logistics
Because in this world that’s twisted, sick,
I am just a misfit.
I do not go to Church. It would not be fun
To be shunned whilst in the hand of your loved one
Who, by Christ, happens to be a woman.
Forgive us these sinners…
I will pray for you…
If you have that attitude, then I will see you in Hell my dear.
My blood shall not boil just because I am queer.
The Devil may care but the Lord does not.
Now, I’m pretty damn lucky with the life I’ve got
So you can’t throw all that away and say that
I’m a sinner cos I’m gay but don’t you see
I’m getting thinner cos your words are oppressing me,
Striking and undressing me to leave me exposed
In a world posed to strike. Did I have a say?
Do I have a right?
No choices, it’s biology;
Better than that it’s spiritually
A work of art, the human heart
And I won’t let it shame me.
So for all those in the dark space
Of the closet cos they can’t face
The light of day, who pray
To a God they don’t think loves them
But He does and it’s okay
To hold your head up high when weighed
Down by the incessant shaming
And bullies and naming as
Beneath it all,
Somebody loves you.
Ashley Green's Notebook 